Congratulations to our President!

And Mazel Tov to SF Shomrim President Dave Lewis who will be promoted from Deputy/Detective to Sergeant on Monday July 25th at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts at 10AM.  Sgt. Lewis will be moving to supervise investigators at the Child Protective Investigative Section at BSO.

If you can make it to support Dave, please do so.  Otherwise be sure to punch him in the shoulder (an old military rite after promotion) the next time you see him.  Or, just say congrats!

Going Green

The store cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic wasn’t good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day." The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. The former generation did not care enough to save our environment." He was right, that generation didn't have the green thing in their day.

Back then, they returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But they didn't have the green thing back then.

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't get into a 300-horsepower auto every time they had to go two blocks. They didn't have the green thing.

Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have disposables. Laundry did dry not in an energy gobbling machine – it went outdoors on a line, wind and solar power really did the drying. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new garments. But that old lady is right; they didn't have the green thing back in her day.

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house - not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief, not a screen the size of the Wall. In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, wadded up old newspapers cushioned it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gas just to cut the lawn. They used a manual push mower. They exercised by working -- no need to go to a health club to run on electrically operated treadmills. But they didn't have the green thing.

They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle. They refilled their writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But they didn't have the green thing back then.  

Back then, people took the tram or a bus and kids rode bikes to school or went on the bus. Rooms had one electrical outlet not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza place.

Those old people should have gone green!

Being Green -- The New Thing

Why "sh" Is So Important in Hebrew

SH MUCK No need to translate
SH NORER Someone who mooches, feeds off others,low life
SH LIMAZL Someone who can't do anything right, a klutz
SH VANTZ "Tail"- for someone whose annoying, incompetent
SH VITZ Sweat, perspire
SH MENDRIK Sort of the same as SHLIMAZL
SH TUPN ARAIN To stuff (forcefully) l ike over eating
SH TARK VI A FERD Strong as a horse
SH EINER TUCHES Nice "ass!"
SH VARTZE Black
SH IKSA Non Jewish female
SH AGETZ Non Jewish male
SH ANDA Disgrace
SH LEMIEL Same as Schlimazel & Shmendrik
SH UL Temple, Synagogue
SH EP NACHAS Exude abundant joy & pride,e.g.. A child getting married etc.
SH ABBOS Shabbat
SH ADCHEN Matchmaker
SH IKKER A drunk
SH BBOS GOY The Goy turning on the lights in Shul
SH AYTL Wig, used by orthodox women to cover head
SH EHECHEYANU He kept us a live, sustained us
SH ALOM Peace
SH NOOK A creep
SH USH Quiet
SH IVA Sit in mourning
SH TETEL Small village
SH MEER "Rub" as when bribing or spreading butter on bread
SH A Silence (I will add SH TILL....)
SH MUTZ Dirt
SH MATEH Rag
SH MEGEGI Same as schlimazel, shmendrik
SH TICK DREK "Piece of Sh...t"
SH PILKES IN TUCHES Pins in the A...as when being
impatient, antsie
And that's the gantsa SH MEGILLA

If They Had Jewish Mothers

MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a
smile?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write."
MICHELA NG ELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other
children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of your
jacket and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN 'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other
kids?"
GEORGE WASHI NG TON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac , you can kiss your
allowance good-bye!"
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it
off already and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long
past your bedtime!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your
hair?"
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"Desert, schmesert!! Where have you really been for the last forty years?"
BILL GATES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"
BILL CLINTON 'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica!"

Always Look For the Silver Lining

Tour boats ferry people out to the USS Arizona Memorial in Hawaii every thirty minutes. We just missed a ferry and had to wait thirty minutes. I went into a small gift shop to kill time. In the gift shop, I purchased a small book entitled, "Reflections on Pearl Harbor " by Admiral Chester Nimitz.
Sunday, December 7th, 1941--Admiral Chester Nimitz was attending a concert in Washington D.C. He was paged and told there was a phone call for him. When he answered the phone, it was President Franklin Delano Roosevelt on the phone. He told Admiral Nimitz that he (Nimitz) would now be the Commander of the Pacific Fleet.
Admiral Nimitz flew to Hawaii to assume command of the Pacific Fleet. He landed at Pearl Harbor on Christmas Eve, 1941. There was such a spirit of despair, dejection and defeat--you would have thought the Japanese had already won the war. On Christmas Day, 1941, Adm. Nimitz was given a boat tour of the destruction wrought on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese. Big sunken battleships and navy vessels cluttered the waters every where you looked. As the tour boat returned to dock, the young helmsman of the boat asked, "Well Admiral, what do you think after seeing all this destruction?" Admiral Nimitz's reply shocked everyone within the sound of his voice. Admiral Nimitz said, "The Japanese made three of the biggest mistakes an attack force could ever make or God was taking care of America . Which do you think it was?" Shocked and surprised, the young helmsman asked, "What do mean by saying the Japanese made the three biggest mistakes an attack force ever made?"
Nimitz explained. Mistake number one: the Japanese attacked on Sunday morning. Nine out of every ten crewmen of those ships were ashore on leave. If those same ships had been lured to sea and been sunk--we would have lost 38,000 men instead of 3,800.
Mistake number two: when the Japanese saw all those battleships lined in a row, they got so carried away sinking those battleships, they never once bombed our dry docks opposite those ships. If they had destroyed our dry docks, we would have had to tow everyone of those ships to America to be repaired. As it is now, the ships are in shallow water and can be raised. One tug can pull them over to the dry docks, and we can have them repaired and at sea by the time we could have towed them to America . And I already have crews ashore anxious to man those ships.
Mistake number three: every drop of fuel in the Pacific theater of war is in top of the ground storage tanks five miles away over that hill. One attack plane could have strafed those tanks and destroyed our fuel supply. That's why I say the Japanese made three of the biggest mistakes an attack force could make or God was taking care of America .
I've never forgotten what I read in that little book. It is still an inspiration as I reflect upon it. In jest, I might suggest that because Admiral Nimitz was a Texan, born and raised in Fredricksburg , Texas --he was a born optimist. But anyway you look at it--Admiral Nimitz was able to see a silver lining in a situation and circumstance where everyone else saw only despair and defeatism. President Roosevelt had chosen the right man for the right job. We desperately needed a leader that could see silver linings in the midst of the clouds of dejection, despair and defeat.