Our President Breaking it Down!

Photos from Rabbi's luncheon posted

Click here to view them...

"Jews in Justice" Round Table Discussion

South Florida Shomrim Society's Chairman of the Board Irv Heller will be participating in the round table discussion at the Jewish Museum of Florida on Sunday May 15th at 2:00 P.M. The museum is located at 301 Washington Avenue in Miami Beach. Don't miss the opportunity to see this incredible place, and to hear the words of the retired Assistant Director of the Miami-Dade Police Department. Irv was one of the founders of the SFSS in 1984. This event is part of the celebration of Jewish Heritage Month.

Kosher Computers

I don't know if you know this, but you can now purchase Kosher computers! They are made in Israel by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is great, even with the shipping from Israel. I've been using one now for several weeks and highly recommend it.

However, before you purchase a kosher computer of your own, you should know that there are some important differences from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to. These include:

1) The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!" button.

2) I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.

3) The cursor moves from right to left.

4) When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"

5) When I look at erotic images, my computer says, "If your mother knew you did this, she would die."

6) It comes with a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all the "schmutz und dreck."

7) When running "Scan Disk" it prompts with me with a "You want I should fix this?" message.

8) After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen".

9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday.

10) It comes with two hard drives -- one for fleyshedik (business software, aka "meat"), and one for milchedik (games -- "dairy").

11) Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt".

12) The multimedia player has been renamed, "Nu, so play my music already!"

13) Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.

14) When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Vey!"

15) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.

16) When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchis."

17) After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.

But it's worth all of that, since if you have a kosher computer, you can't get Spam!

Update on Monday, April 11, 2011 at 10:30PM by Randi Meshel

Everybody please laugh at Dave's joke.  He spent a lot of time working on it!

Did You Know That They Are Jewish?

Paula Abdul                              Jonathan Lipnicki         

Woody Allen                            Lisa Loeb

Alan Arkin                                Courtney Love

Jason Alexander                       Jon Lovitz

Julia Louis Dreyfus                    Howie Mandel

Jerry Seinfeld                            Cindy Margolis

Tom Arnold                              Camryn Manheim

David Arquette                        Marlee  Matlin

Rosanna Arquette                     Debra Messing

Patricia Arquette                       Seth Meyers

Lauren Bacall                           Bette Midler

Roseanne Barr                          Soleil Moon Frye

Selma Blair                               Rick Moranis

Elizabeth Banks                        Rob Morrow

Rachel Bilson                            Olivia Newton-John

Mayim Bialik                            Bebe Neuwirth

Sandra Bernhard                      Paul Newman

Gwyneth Paltrow                      Judd Nelson

Jack Black                               Leonard Nimoy

David Blaine                             Itzhak Perlman

Yasmine Bleeth                       Joaquin Phoenix

Lisa Bonet                                Pink

Lisa Kudrow                            Sean Paul

Zach Braff                                Natalie Portman

Sarah Jessica Parker                 Mandy Patinkin

Matthew Broderick                  Tracy Pollan

Adrien Brody                           Daniel Radcliffe

Mel Brooks                              Michael Rapaport

Brooke Burke                          Harold Ramis

George Burns                           Rob Reiner

Amanda Bynes                        Joan Rivers

Neve Campbell                        Emmy Rossum

Phoebe Cates                           Doris Roberts

Jennifer Jason Leigh                  Seth Rogan

Sasha Baron Cohen                  Maya Rudolph

Jennifer Connelly                      Keri Russell

Billy Crystal                              Winona Ryder

Jamie Lee Curtis                       Katey Sagal

Tony Curtis                              Adam Sandler

Daniel Day-Lewis                     Bob Saget

Rodney Dangerfield                  Fred Savage 

Sammy Davis Jr.                      Andy Kauffman

Kirk Douglas                          Ben Kingsley

Michael Douglas                    Kevin Kline

Robert Downey Jr.                 Mila Kunis

Fran Drescher                         Shia LeBeouf

Richard Dreyfuss                    Jerry Lewis

David Duchovny                    Liev Schreiber

Zac Efron                                Rob Schneider

Jon Favreau                             David Schwimmer

Peter Falk                                Kyra Sedgwick

Corey Feldman                        Jane Seymour

Corey Haim                            William Shatner

Fyvush Finkel                         Gary Shandling

Carrie Fisher                           Ally Sheedy

Jennifer Grey                           Pauly Shore

Harrison Ford                          Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Al Franken                              Alicia Silverstone

Brad Garrett                            Neil Simon

Sarah Michelle Geller             Steven Speilberg

Gina Gershon                          Tori Spelling

Kathy Lee Gifford                   Howard Stern

Melissa Gilbert                        Jon Stewart

Jeff Goldblum                         Ben Stiller

Gilbert Godfried                      Barbra Streisand

Ginnifer Goodwin                   Elizabeth Taylor

Seth Green                               Ashely Tisdale

Maggie Gyllenhaal                  Michelle Trachtenberg

Jake Gyllenhaal                       Michael Vartan

Alyson Hannigan                     Rachel Weisz

Goldie Hawn                            Gene Wilder

Dustin Hoffman                       Henry Winkler

Kate Hudson                            Scott Wolf

Helen Hunt                               Noah Wyle

Hank Azaria                             Debra Winger

Scarlett Johansson                    Ian Ziering